This is not a Mary Sue Fanfiction
by Lothahnos
Summary: The epic tail of a girl and her grand entrance to the village of Konoha. Follow her as she experiences heartbreak, true love, and ridiculous overpoweredness. OCxKakashi UPDATE 1/16/14: DAMAGE CONTROL IN PRODUCTION. DO NOT FEAR; THE BEAST SHALL NOT CONQUER US. UPDATE 1/23/14: I finally got off my lazy ass and wrote the damage control chapter. Have fun.
1. Chapter 1

**This is Not a Mary Sue Fanfiction**

**WARNING: THIS IS A MARY SUE FIC OF THE WORST VARIETY. THE FOLLOWING A/N AND DISCLAIMER WERE MADE IN SUCH A MANNER ON PURPOSE. REAL AUTHOR'S NOTE IS AT BOTTOM.**

**A/N: This is my first fanfiction. Please don't flame me. I really just want to try it out okay. If you flame, I'll try my very hardest to ignore you. I'm for serious. Go down to bottom for another Author's note, but read the story. It's good, like Russia Sushi.**

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Naruto, but I really wish Kishimoto-sama-baka would just fess up and give it back to me. Grrrr. Sorry I got angry haha. But yeah, I don't own Naruto and I never will. *sad face***

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><p>Hi! I'm Kari Senju Uzumaki Uchiha, or Kari Suu for short. I am about 5 feet tall and have the long, waist-length hair that I usually tie into a pony tail. It is the silky, charcoal black hair that all Uchiha's have. I am 16(?) years old and I am on my way to some ninja village called Konoha, because I totally never heard of the so-called strongest shinobi village. I was raised by Madara Uchiha himself, the strongest Uchiha ever to date and the founder of Konoha, but I still never heard of it. My past aside, I am now en route to Konoha to reestablish my clans they're, as I had found out that the Uchiha clan had been wiped out by Itachi-kun and Obito-kun and the Senju clan had been reduced to one member, who happened to be some busty drunk. I have no fucking clue what happened to the Uzumaki clan.<p>

Upon entering the village I met _him._ He had spiked-up silver hair. He wore a mask that covered the bottom of his face, which was undoubtedly handsome, and his hitai-ate was tilted to cover his left eye. I knew who he was. He was Kakashi Hatake, the Copycat Ninja, inheritor of Obito-kun's left sharingan. Our eyes met, and the sparks flew. *play some shitty, mildly unfitting romantic music*

"Oh my god, Kari? Kari Senju?" he said, his smooth voice rolling smoothly of his undoubtedly smooth tongue.

"Actually, I'm Kari Senju Uzumaki Uchiha," I replied shyly. "I've recently found out that I was part of more clans than I had thought…Kakashi-kun."

"Oh Kari-chan! I missed you!" He yelled, rather uncharacteristically, as he ran and embraced me in his warm arms. "Come on, let me introduce you to my team."

He grabbed my hand and led me to a training ground with three stumps in the middle.

"Just wait here, and I'll go grab my team."

I waited, only for a couple minutes before Kakashi came back with three teenagers in his tow. The first one, the female, was some pink-haired (I know, right?) banshee bitch named Sakura. The second was some blonde, whiskered baka named Naruto, though he was admittedly cute. The last one was Itachi Kun's little brother, Sasuke Uchiha. He wore a long sleeve white shirt that had REALLY deep V, which revealed his chiseled chest for the entire world to bask in. Under that, he had a purple rope belt thing and dark blue pants. They were all about my age, so I tried to hang out with the –keyword: tried.

**A/N: In this universe, Sasuke never left Konoha, but was somehow inexplicably trained by Orochimaru.**

Sakura was insufferable, but Naruto was alright. I mostly hung out with Sasuke for the most part. I could tell that he wanted me, but I couldn't return his feelings as my heart had already belonged to another. And so, life continued like this for a while until one year later.

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><p><strong>One year later: <strong>

I was once again going on another stroll with Sasuke-kun, as Kakashi-kun was nowhere to be found. Suddenly there was a huge commotion at the front gates. Their were three people at the gate, two of them wearing the black cloaks of the dreaded Akatsuki. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was Madara, Obito-kun, and Itachi-kun. They were finally going to visit me like they always said they would.

And so, I did what any other person would do in my situation; I ran up to them and pulled them all into a massive group hug. Then, I heard a scream of anger. Sasuke was behind me charging his chidori attack, ready to kill the man who had ruined his childhood.

"Sasuke, no!" I cried out. Itachi wasn't supposed to die. It wasn't his fault, or his choice. "It wasn't his fault. The Uchiha clan was planning a coup. It had to be done!"

***play some crappy, seemingly epic music here***

"I don't care! It's him isn't it? He's the one who has your heart! He always has to one-up me!"

"No Sasuke! It wasn't him!" This comment caused Itachi's eyes to widen slightly.

"Then who?! Tell me who! Is it one of those other two bastards?"

"No. it's not them. It was never them," I admitted, sobbing lightly.

"Who is it Kari?" A new voice asked. It was Obito, the man I had grew up with, trained alongside. I frowned slightly at this. I didn't want any of them to get involve. I always knew my beauty would come back and bite me in the ass. I bit my lip and prepared to answer.

"Kakashi. Kakashi-kun is the man I love. He has my heart, my everything."

They were all wide-eyed. They stared at me, some in shock, and others in anger. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran. I ran back to my room in the Senju compound.

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><p><strong>The next day:<strong>

I woke up to loud banging on my door.

"Kari! Kari! Wake up!"

I opened my door to find my maid, who shall be from this point on known as JP. He seemed really flustered and more freaked out than he usually was. **A/N: Hehe**

"Bad news, Kari! There's a showdown of some sort in the Konoha Arena, and your name is being said a lot. I think they said something about a fight for your hand! You have to go break it up," the simple maid yelled out, almost in one breath. So, I did just as he suggested, I went to the stadium, fully intent on unleashing my powers to end this fight.

In the stadium were Kakashi, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito, and Madara, in a massive standoff. Suddenly, they all rushed, preparing their signature move. Kakashi had his raikiri; Sasuke had his chidori nagashi; Itachi had his Mangekyo; Obito did whatever the fuck he does; and Madara had his Massive-Meteor-of-Being-an-Asshole technique, with an extra behind it. I chose then to intervene. I threw a hiraishin kunai in the center of the stadium and appeared at that spot in a yellow flash (because I can). I activated my Eternam Mangekyo Sharingan, which morphed into the legendary Rinnegan. My did the tiger, ram, and snake hand signs and performed the Wood Release Secret Technique: Nativity of a World of Trees. These held back all of the fighters, as well as Madara's huge meteors of death. I then went on to enhance the strength of the wood more with my Uzumaki Chakra Chains.

"STOP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. All was silent. "I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to Kakashi. Nothing can change that."

They had all stopped struggling at this point. Relenting to my sound reasoning (and tightening branches). I released them, and they all apologized and left, with the exception of Kakashi.

"Is it true?" he asked, warily.

"Yes, all of it," I replied, wiping a tear from my eye. He then approached me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I love you too, Kari," he whispered softly into my ear.

All shall fear and respect the power of Mary-err Kari Suu.

**THE END**

**A/N: Wow that was fucking painful. Well here it is, a full on Mary Sue fic, employing all of the disgusting facets associated to such a story. Now that you've read that abomination of the story, you're probably feeling a little sick right now. Well, don't fret! There's a cure for that, and it's called death. Use any method you wish to cease living, otherwise that feeling with linger with you and haunt your soul for all of eternity. Don't actually kill yourself, by the way. I do not condone suicide in any way, shape, or form. **


	2. Damage Control

**A/N: This is my attempt at redemption from the abomination that was the first chapter of the story. I had some types from my dearest friend Kari, for whom the main character is named after, out of spite, of course.**

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><p>Dark…it was so dark. Rain fell from the sky in torrents. Were the heavens crying? Why were they crying? Were they crying for me? I looked down.<p>

There was a hole, a gaping hole in the center of my chest. I could feel the warm blood pooling around me, mingling with the blood and rain. A coppery taste and scent overwhelmed my senses. A figure loomed over me ominously. This is the reason for my current predicament.

"Kari, don't die yet. I'm not done with you. I have more to say," a familiar voice reverberated in my ears. It was him. I thought he loved me. I think he did too at some point, but something happened. Something changed.

My vision came into focus. I was met with the sight of one Kakashi Hatake glaring down at me, his – Obit's– Sharingan ablaze.

"Wha-…why?" I was able to stammer out. I remember walking with him, eating dinner with him, and generally having a good time. Then, everything went black. I couldn't remember. I just know that _he _did this to me. How did I know? I saw his hand, stained in blood, my blood.

"I figured something like you wouldn't remember. Don't worry all your questions will be answered in due time. For starters, I'll address that wound in your chest."

I strained my neck and looked down. I saw the gaping, fist-sized hole in my chest, a reminder of my inevitable death. I racked my mind. _How could he have done this? _Then it hit me, nearly as hard as he had.

"Ch-chidori," I gasped out.

"Correct," He responded in a cold tone, a direct opposite to the loving voice he had used with me for the past month. "I figured my signature move would me more than enough to erase your existence."

My chest hurt. It hurt far beyond the physical pain. I could feel my heart crumbling away. _Was it all a lie? What did I do to deserve this?_

"At this point, you're probably thinking some self-pitying thoughts. Well, stop. You shouldn't. You are far too low, too pathetic to be worthy of the slightest pang of sympathy," he growled. I looked up at him. Tears streamed down my face, adding yet another source of liquid to the ground. He just stood up there, staring down at me angrily, expectantly. All was silent, all was still, save for the relentless pitter patter of the rain.

"Can you at least tell me why?" I muttered, mustering enough strength to stay alive.

"Why? WHY?!" he yelled, angrily, stomping on my stomach. A sickening _squelch_ permeated the drab atmosphere.

"Are you really that fucking stupid? You were raised by _Madara Uchiha_, one of the village's greatest adversaries. You, an outsider, waltzed into _my _village, claiming ownership over not one, but _three_ great clans. At least Madara had something useful to offer the world. You? You have nothing to give. Nothing to help others," at this point he had crouched down to my eye level, "You are disgustingly self-centered, and undoubtedly useless in every sense of the word. You are just some stupid, fucking 2-dimensional character trying to live in a world full of –dimensional beings above you. By the way, I never loved you. Everyone knows that the only person I have a single ounce of love for is Obito, but once again, you were just too fucking dense to see your surroundings. Goodbye, Kari Suu."

In that moment, my heart completely shattered into tiny little unsalvageable pieces. I watched Kakashi's figure become obscured by the surrounding forest. What a horrible way to die. Broken. Unloved. However, I understood now. The heavens are crying. They are crying tears of joy. After all, it's not every day that a Mary Sue character dies.

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><p><strong>AN: Fuck yeah! This is how all of those Mary stories should end. Honestly, as fun as they are too write (and poke fun at), Mary Sue fanfictions are some of the most horrible things to exist. So rejoice, readers. This certain fic will no longer haunt us. So, put away your guns, your knives, and your nooses. Live on! Know that you will never again have to deal with this story looming over you.**


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